Friday, November 30, 2012

Past Present Future. It’s just perspective.

It’s has only been 2 months ago since my last post, yet it feels like such a long time. Memories of it is fuzzy at best, like looking through a tinted glass. Interesting would be the best word to describe the experience as it covers wide range of emotion and feel, however unoriginal the word is.

What happened, you might ask (or you might not; well you should, oh ye unsympathetic reader!) Change, change and more changes happened. I wouldn’t call it fun, though it’s definitely eye-opening. The knowledge that I am still ignorant and have lots to learn, have lots to grow, only fills me with grim determination.

I am sure I wouldn’t call working as fun, despite there is fun aspect to it. And while I’ve been working for one month and half (feels much longer than that, although my ignorance will keep reminding me that yes, it’s only been that short) , it still doesn’t feel like working. Feels more like forced learning, but at the end of the day I know money is rolling in. An overall win situation, just not for the lazy part of me.

Graduation, which is technically just one more day, hits more like the last nail in the coffin, the echoes taunting: yep, you are old. And the world is still such a big, scary place. It always reminds me the most heart-moving scene from The Legend of 1900, which is truly a must-watch movie.

The Legend Of 1900 (Last Scene Dialogue)

Christ, did you... did you see the streets, just the streets? There were thousands of them! Then how you do it down there, how do you choose just one... one woman, one house, one piece of land to call your own, one landscape to look at, one way to die...?

Or maybe I am looking it from a wrong perspective. Human—short-sighted, limited, yet so staggering in its arrogance—perspective.

I simply didn’t factor God inside of my supposing 'grand plan’. The future possibilities with God is exciting. Limitless, but brings joy in the midst of the endless possibilities. No matter which future, which proverbial street I choose, He’d already know and He prepares the best for me. That’s a far more comforting thought, by miles (or kilometre, because really, Imperial unit is annoying, and why won’t it die already?!)

I have a lot to be grateful for, really. I complained about graduation but I forgot to give thanks for the good result. I complained about working yet I forgot to give thanks for a job.

I really still have lots to learn. And that’s okay, learning is good. Learning is growing. Life is hard, yes, yet it is wonderful.