Gloom and Gollum

So, I am unofficially graduated. Or another way to look at it, jobless.

And everyone is saying congratulation, while all I can wonder is: “For what?”

I guess people will say I can finally earn money. Really? Exchanging money with time? I’d rather have my time and freedom back. (Not that I really use my time well, heh).

I guess I am just confused. People always say follow your dream. Well, how about if you don’t know your dream? Interest, sure, multitude of it. But dream— real dream— where I’ll give up everything to attain it? No, not now, not since ever I guess. And maybe not ever. Now, that’s just depressing.

I guess I never really imagine that I will be out of student life, be one of those so-called “adult”. Though I never like school (yeah, I am all sunshine and roses, merciless desert sun and thorn in roses, that is), but I always like learning.

Working life is also learning, sure. Learning social ethics, office politics, how to boot-lick. Yeah, charming. What an exciting existence. Exactly the life I always wanted to have </sarcasm>.

I always struggle with the meaning of life and this time, reality hits me hard. No more running, no more cushion. And thinking about from now until the rest of my life, there will only be work?

..wonderful.

Oh, and happy independence day, Indonesia!